Happy New Year to everyone! I am excited for this year to begin! 2014 wasn’t a bad year, it wasn’t exactly the best year of my life either – looking back on it I would say it was a year that I learned a lot – a lot about myself, being a mom, being a wife, running a business… There was just a whole lot of learning going on for me. These last few months in particular I have struggled with being a mom and running a business at the same time. Some days I seriously considered just quitting… both! I had a few hard days in 2014 dealing with the whole balancing act. I’ve said it before on this here blog but I will say it again; there just isn’t a beautiful balanced equation where everyone and everything is happy and running smoothly all the time. Some weeks go by with out a hitch but there are weeks where we just try to keep all the balls in the air. This year taught me more patience than I honestly wanted to know. I learned how to focus a little more on the present. I also learned how to say NO to a hell of a lot of things that I can’t handle right now (i.e. toxic friendships, unnecessary responsibility, too many projects, guilt). I am excited to move forward in 2015 with a few of these lessons under my belt.
Last year I blogged about wanting to find peace in 2014. I struggled a lot with my faith in 2013 and 2014 was more of the same. I really wrestled with it. It was brutal and it brought me pretty low. But, I am happy to say that in the end I did find peace – a lot of it. I let go of a lot of things that I used to think were certain truths. My faith doesn’t really look anything like what it used to look like – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t strong or that I don’t have any. I don’t claim to be truly certain of anything anymore. I believe. I hope. I strive to have faith in something greater and bigger than myself – but I finally found peace when I completely accepted that no one really KNOWS anything for sure. We are all just struggling to be good and be happy. I have complete faith in love, in service to others, in forgiving yourself and others and in trying to do better the next day. I found peace in that.
This year is going to be a big year for us. We have a lot of change on the horizon – both for our family and for Jane Reaction. I am excited and scared and can’t wait to get going. Other than setting one concrete goal for our family (the amount we want to put away in to savings every month and the one specific thing we are saving for) I decided to leave this year a little more open. I want to feel happy. I want to feel like a good attentive mother. I want to work smarter and provide quality designs for the people I work with. So I am going to set little goals every month that will help me in those areas. I plan on checking back in on those feelings each month and reevaluating what I can do better . So….. here’s to 2015! To change, to happiness and to LOVE!
(Photo taken by my friend Vanessa over Thanksgiving break – I love this little family of mine looking out into our future!)