01/05/2015

Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year to everyone! I am excited for this year to begin! 2014 wasn’t a bad year, it wasn’t exactly the best year of my life either – looking back on it I would say it was a year that I learned a lot – a lot about myself, being a mom, being a wife, running a business… There was just a whole lot of learning going on for me. These last few months in particular I have struggled with being a mom and running a business at the same time. Some days I seriously considered just quitting… both! I had a few hard days in 2014 dealing with the whole balancing act. I’ve said it before on this here blog but I will say it again; there just isn’t a beautiful balanced equation where everyone and everything is happy and running smoothly all the time. Some weeks go by with out a hitch but there are weeks where we just try to keep all the balls in the air. This year taught me more patience than I honestly wanted to know. I learned how to focus a little more on the present. I also learned how to say NO to a hell of a lot of things that I can’t handle right now (i.e. toxic friendships, unnecessary responsibility, too many projects, guilt). I am excited to move forward in 2015 with a few of these lessons under my belt.

Last year I blogged about wanting to find peace in 2014. I struggled a lot with my faith in 2013 and 2014 was more of the same. I really wrestled with it. It was brutal and it brought me pretty low. But, I am happy to say that in the end I did find peace – a lot of it. I let go of a lot of things that I used to think were certain truths. My faith doesn’t really look anything like what it used to look like – but that doesn’t mean it isn’t strong or that I don’t have any. I don’t claim to be truly certain of anything anymore. I believe. I hope. I strive to have faith in something greater and bigger than myself – but I finally found peace when I completely accepted that no one really KNOWS anything for sure. We are all just struggling to be good and be happy. I have complete faith in love, in service to others, in forgiving yourself and others and in trying to do better the next day. I found peace in that.

This year is going to be a big year for us. We have a lot of change on the horizon – both for our family and for Jane Reaction. I am excited and scared and can’t wait to get going. Other than setting one concrete goal for our family (the amount we want to put away in to savings every month and the one specific thing we are saving for) I decided to leave this year a little more open. I want to feel happy. I want to feel like a good attentive mother. I want to work smarter and provide quality designs for the people I work with. So I am going to set little goals every month that will help me in those areas. I plan on checking back in on those feelings each month and reevaluating what I can do better . So….. here’s to 2015! To change, to happiness and to LOVE!

(Photo taken by my friend Vanessa over Thanksgiving break – I love this little family of mine looking out into our future!)

8 comments

  • kati

    i hope you have the best year yet! last year wasn’t my favorite, either, though it wasn’t BAD. more like the little drip drip drip chinese water torture of doubt and negativity. i’m hoping for less of that this year :) let’s get together next time you’re in portland! xo

    • erinjane85@gmail.com

      Kati!

      I would love to get together next time I am in Portland! Hopefully that will be soon! I totally hear you on the drip drip drip… it’s hard. Especially being in a creative field – there is so much room for doubt to seep in! But here’s to 2015 where we eat our negative brain monsters for breakfast?! Yes?!

  • Joannah

    Hi Jane! My name is Joannah!

    For some reason, I have never felt the need to respond to one of your posts before… That is, til now. I’ve been reading your blog for YEARS now and I still come back now and again to see how you and your cute little family are doing. It makes me sad to hear when you’re struggling, but it makes me even happier to read about the good days! You post such wonderful photos of you, your kids, and your husband! I just hope that they never stop! I know you have days where they are harder than the rest, but just know that you have people (like me) who love reading what you have to say. Even all the way out here in Tampa, Florida! You are doing a wonderful job, Jane! You’ve inspired me so much that I have made it my own goal this year to start on a blog. I hope this helps and gives you that extra nudge to keep going! I wish you all the best this year and I look forward to many more beautiful posts!

    • erinjane85@gmail.com

      Hello Joannah!

      Thank you so much for commenting! It really does mean a lot! I am excited for you to start a blog! It really has been the best for me! Cheers!

  • Stacey

    I also have to thank you for inspiring me. I emailed you a year or so ago, after stumbling upon your blog and reading about your creative process, when a lightbulb clicked on for me. I have all this creative energy and had no idea where to put it. I’m still learning and ironing out those kinks. But you were the inspiration and motivation behind my deciding to JUST DO IT. Whatever it was….a blog, an online class, an etsy shop. ;) Thank you and happy New Year!

    • erinjane85@gmail.com

      Stacey!
      Thank you so much! That really means so much to me! Thanks for being here in this space!

  • Kirstin

    Thank you so much for sharing this. I can seriously relate your feelings about your personal faith. 2014 was a crazy year for me and there was a lot of “reality facing” which I think can be quite hard on your faith at times. But I feel the same way in that I think my faith is different now, but much more real than before…if that makes any sense. I much prefer it this way. I think the biggest conclusion that I was able to come to about my own faith was how important love is. There isn’t much point in anything if genuine love isn’t present. Happy new year to you and your beautiful family!

    • erinjane85@gmail.com

      Kirstin! Yes it totally makes sense! “Reality Facing” is a really good way to put it! And yes, I prefer it this way, but the hardest part is realizing others DO NOT prefer it this way! haha – They do not prefer it for themselves and they do not prefer it for me. I have struggled with that… BUT you’re right, love is the answer. We can only love and be loved! Here’s to more love!

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